Don’t Wreck Yourself

Loud, Obnoxious, and Extremely Horny for Facts

On this week's episode, Ryan tracks Matt down and forgets to make a Dr. Livingstone reference. The hosts record live and in person for the first time, sacrificing audio quality like a fatted calf on the altar of basic human companionship. They tell you what they did in Philly, take on the folks next door having loud, obnoxious hotel . Then they dig into why humans need to cook their food while our fellow animals get to tear into the raw stuff. Finally, they parse out what to call a straight guy who prefers the friendship of men.Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Middle America Bee Fishy Sometimes

Shakin' Shaner from What's Shakin' With Shaner keeps Matt's seat warm as he and Ryan get under the hood of Pixar's Cars franchise to figure out what's going on with Lightning McQueen's Finn McMissile. Then they discuss a photoset making the rounds on social media that depicts a surprisingly conventional Fourth of July party in an unconventional place. Then they discuss the mysterious appearance of a Viking runestone in Minnesota, home of the late great artist formerly known as Prince. Finally they finish with a California court ruling that makes a surprising taxological decision. Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZFind Shane and Psycho Bob the Cat @shakinshaner and @psychobobca1 on Twitter and online at www.shakinshaner.com

Busted! True Crime in Ancient Times

On today's episode, Ryan's old boss Dr. Brad Hafford fills in for Matt to talk about a couple popular myths associated with the ancient city of Ur. This episode is 100% archaeology. Ryan and Brad talk about a busty Roman hanging out at a thrift shop in Texas, and seek to answer the all important question "what IS a museum" without smoking any OG kush at all. Then they discuss a pair of ancient Mesopotamian businessman (one of whom you may already know). Finally they take on a claim from r/conspiracy that asserts that mysterious artifacts may be the key to powering ancient flood lights.Find us on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter at @wreckyourpodAnd chat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZSubscribe to Artifactually Speaking at:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6q8GsRYTYW1zeke1erD-uA

The Revivifying Power of the Electric Nut Massage

NEW EPISODES NOW DROP ON FRIDAYRyan works with co-host pro tempura Cap from Shrimp and Crits to get to the bottom of an r/NoStupidQuestions inquiry trying to get answers about an aviation mystery from the internet. Then they discuss the political fallout of definitely killing, but only allegedly murdering one's spouse while running for office. They follow up murder, both cold-blooded and alleged, by helping an r/nostupidquestions asker confront the stigma against kissing kittens... apparently it's a thing. Finally, Ryan and Cap walk through one of the strangest co-branding campaign ever, when they discuss how Doritos teamed up with a pair of cartoon wrestlers to laugh about genital torture and other forms of workplace harassment. Find Don't Wreck Yourself on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and gmail @wreckyourpodFind us online at www.wreckyourpod.comFind Cap on Twitter @capandcrits, and his show Shrimp and Crits on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok @shrimpandcritsFind them online at www.shrimpandcrits.com, or support them by visiting www.fondofmelobster.comThis Episode's Promo Comes from The Story Teller Squad.Find them on Twitter @StorySquadCastFind them online at www.thestorytellersquad.comChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, Shrimp and Crits, The Storyteller Squad and dozens of other podcasters on the CastJunkie Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ 

Highly Irwreckular

Matt and Ryan are joined by Stu Horgan the creative force, host, and sole heir to the Highly Irregular podcast fortune which shall be, according to the mysterious last will and testament slipped to him rolled up in a copy of a particularly scandalous edition of The Sun while he was taking in a bit of fresh air at local park... paid in laughs. First they discuss a question from r/TooAfraidToAsk about the implications of the ubiquitous internet Rule 34, which governs pornographic content online. Then Stu shares a clip from his program mocking his nations leader, and then he presents a totally unrelated piece of British tabloid news to the delight of detective novel fans everywhere. Then Matt wraps up the episode in tentacles with an important question about octopus fashion.Find us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the Cast Junkie Discord Server:  https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZStu Horgan is the host of Highly Irregular, a Sketch Comedy PodcastFind him on Twitter @podlyirregularhttps://highly-irregular.captivate.fm/listen

Yo Momma Jokes

Happy Mothers Day to all child rearing humans and wolves!CONTENT WARNING: This episode deals with pregnancy and pregnancy complications.This week, Matt and Ryan discuss mom related topics! First they talk about whether moms deserve special social privileges over other people. Then they discuss whether it's possible to for a person to become pregnant alone and through the combined power of YouTube videos, positive thinking, and sonic vibrations. Finally, they wrap up with a somewhat familiar looking meme purporting to be a sign created by a child whose parents covered up a negligent homicide. Finally, call your mom. Just call your mom. If, by tragedy or triumph, you don't have a mother, call a mother, or a maternal figure, or the person who does the most for you in your life and thank them. Find us on social media @wreckyourpod on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook.Chat with us on the CastJunkie Discord server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZThis week's promo: What's Shakin With Shaner@shakinshaner on Twitterhttps://www.shakinshaner.com/

Millennials and Their Participation War Trophies

In this week's episode Matt and Ryan discuss the military's Uniform Code of Long Distance Relationships when they advise someone dating a soldier who clearly keeping dependents in different residences if you know what we mean. They they discuss a raid in Russia in which authorities claimed to have foiled a Neo- wet-work cell that just could not get enough of Sid Meier's SIMS. Then they discuss an opportunity to purchase a piece of the Ukrainian resistance.Find us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and gmail @wreckyourpodVisit us on the web at www.wreckyourpod.comThis week's promo: Ignorance Was Bliss@IWBpodcast on Twitterhttps://iwbpodcast.com/

Slinging Rum at the Elephant Bazaar

In this week's episode, Matt and Ryan discuss whether employers care if you got to the top of the rope in gym class. If you did, then Charlie Kirk suggests you may have been radicalized by the secret message Karl Marx scrawled up there 170 years ago, causing you to foolishly critique the corrupt capitalist system from your fancy high rise penthouse. Finally, they discuss whether a beloved sixty-five foot tall elephant played a part in an Atlantic City smuggling ring.Find us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and gmail @wreckyourpodVisit us on the web at www.wreckyourpod.comThis week's promo: Shrimp and Crits@shrimpandcrits on Twitter and Instagramwww.shrimpandcrits.com

This Ottoman Slaps!

In a return from a one week hiatus, Matt and Ryan offer yet another meaningless take on the slap heard round the world... but wait, there's more slap related content! Ryan tells Matt about a secret Ottoman martial technique in which open hand slaps are honed by striking marble, making it the second time in the episode they talk about some guy slapping theout of a Rock. Then they discuss a mysterious meme that seems to show a well preserved tyrannosaurus fossil in the woods of rural Tennessee. Then they discuss the peak moment when vulcanological comedy erupted onto the scene in a global explosion of core-bursting laughter.Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server:  https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Potato Fudge Around and Find Out

On this week's episode, Matt and Ryan discuss how Russians will be forced to get things their way after McDonald's pulls up stakes... will they be "lovin' it"? Then they transition into two listener food related questions dealing with mayo applications and an ad circulating online purporting to be a genuine advertisement for Kraft's Potato Fudge. Then they discuss an r/AmItheAsshole post from a woman who lashes out after being excluded from her husband's family gatherings. Then they take on an r/unpopular opinion dealing with how we calculate age, and then they double dip into r/AmITheAsshole when they render judgment in a situation where an April Fools joke costs somebody their job.On Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,  TikTok and Gmail @wreckyourpodAnd chat with us on the Cast Junkie Discord Server https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

A Year in Wrecktrospect

Matt and Ryan take you on a tour of some of their best bits from their first year of podcasting, and they drop a few clips from their  unreleased demo recordings to.Thanks to everyone for an amazing first year! We look forward to doing more, saying more, and thanking you all again next year. Sure, we'll say thank you to all of our listeners, but you should know that anyone showing up after you won't get the same level of heartfelt gratitude.Huge thanks to the wonderful podcasters who have guested on our show: Shane from What's Shakin With Shaner (https://www.shakinshaner.com/), Cap and Ryan Stroud from Shrimp and Crits (http://www.shrimpandcrits.com/), Kalea from The Whores in Room Six (https://www.thewhoresinroomsix.com/), and we always end our gratitude by thanking the incredible Rick Reynolds (IG: https://www.instagram.com/rickreynolds)Find us @wreckyourpod on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and gmail.Chat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ 

50 is the New Oops! All Reddit!

Matt's hungover and the guys agree that on the occasion of their 50th episode that the time has once again arrived to celebrate the wellspring of content that is the Reddit website. They moan some names, discuss toilet etiquette, weigh in on genital tattoos, judge a guy for unrealistic baby beauty standards, tear down the Confederate flag, and take an offensive name for a dog behind the shed and shoot it with finger guns. That's a lot packed into one episode, and it's worthy of a 21 finger gun salute.We can be found on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Gmail @wreckyourpodAnd on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Birthday Wishes from the Worm Vortex

On this week's very special pre-birthday special, Ryan and Matt celebrate another successful year of Matt being in the world. They take on a new spin on the chicken or egg question, discuss the crappy exchange rate of the Russian Ruble, and discuss the origin of the numerical decimal place system that is all the rage. They delve into a claim about a vortex of worms in New Jersey, and then discuss the practical advantages of ditching your automobile for a horse and buggy. They round out the episode discussing what you can get an 18 year old for their birthday, and settle on Britney's Instagram.Find us on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Twitter at @wreckyourpodChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Cena Later Alligator

Matt and Ryan are joined by Ryan Stroud from the popular... uhh, structured fiction gambling podcast Shrimp and Crits? He lends his expertise in all things alligator to help settle an unsanctioned matchup between representatives of both WWF organizations. Then they investigate a claim by a Tennessee preacher that cartoonist Matt Groening, of Simpsons fame is in direct communication with an actual, literal, demon. Then they quickly change the subject to football to avoid a lot of things they weren't ready to confront. Finally, they dig into a claim that an Amish bakery in Bird-In-Hand was even more prepositionally radical than the town's name, when they put something surprising inside their whoopie pies.We are @wreckyourpod on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Gmail

Päntsdrunk at the Spank Bank

Matt and Ryan open up with a couple listener recommendations, two topics that have to do with what folks do when there's a hole in the ground (put stuff in or get stuff out). Then they discuss a curious Finnish past time that starts in your skivvies and ends up face down on the kitchen floor. Then they reflect on a boomer's reminiscence of a time when any man worth his salt was expected to be carrying at least one sharp implement. Then they give you the facts about sperm banks and orgy etiquette.@wreckyourpod on social mediaChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

McDonald’s Eating Thots

On this episode, Matt and Ryan plow through some minor audio issues and dive into some political claims on Twitter, a service that will be remembered in the post apocalyptic wasteland as a precursor to Truth Social, the communication platform for mutants, degenerates, and other irradiated deplorables. Then, if you like stuffed crust you better put a ring on it, and that ring should be a 10 karat gold Pizza Hut Excellence ring. Next, they look into interesting facts surrounding the planned obsolescence of the International Space Station, and finally they fact check a medical claim about the color of Vegan baby batter.Check out our friends at 1911 BYOB @1911_phl on InstragramFind us @wreckyourpod on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and TikTokChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord... https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ 

Sasquatch Forked My Toilet!

A listener thinks they solved an internet mystery better than we did. Yeah right. As if. Everyone knows it was a tie. Then they try to convince a misguided reddit user that blue whales are the biggest animal to ever live. Then they delve into a ripped from the headlines true crime theory from the r/conspiracy that brings allegations against aliens, cannibals, and a heavily medicated sasquatch in the murder of Gabby Petito. Next they discuss a Russian boy genius who claims to be a messenger from Mars. Then they ask you to stay on the edge of your seat for the final question in which the guys dispense practical plumbing advice to a redditor with toilet troubles.We are @wreckyourpod on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter.Find our channel on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Paying a Queen’s Ransom to Lay Pipe

Ryan drags Matt into a dumb conversation on Twitter about the Keystone XL pipeline's relationship with inflated gas prices. Then they dream up solutions for a young man in a terrible conundrum that could end with his nasty bits being showed all over the internet. Then they open up a can of marital worms when they take on an r/amitheasshole post about a husband caught getting smoochie in public with someone who was not his wife. Finally, they take the queen to task on the eve of her platinum jubilee for underpaying her new housekeeper.Find the guys @wreckyourpod on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and on gmail.They can also be found on the CastJunkie Discord server. https://discord.gg/6wCKyq5ttn

The First Rule of Dinosaur Nipple Butter Gun Club

The first rule of Dinosaur Nipple Butter Gun Club is Don't Wreck Yourself. Admittedly, this one gets weird. Matt and Ryan open up the show discussing a post from r/randomthoughts about dinosaur milk and all the anatomy that implies, before moving onto a surprising east coast/west coast beef right out of Dr. Seuss's Butter Battle Book. They go on to discuss the Chinese government's new ending to the cult classic Fight Club, and then wrap up the episode verifying a listener submitted topic about a man who used to have a golden gun. Mostly they talk about the primary and secondary sexual features of duck-billed hadrosaurs. Find us @wreckyourpod on Social Media: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and on gmail.You can also locate us on the CastJunkie discord server, chatting about the show and geeking out about our fellow podcasters.https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

That Song That Goes Who Du Du Du Du Du Du Du Done It?

Ryan and Matt star in the sequel to Shazam (the app, not the best film in the DCU franchise). Then they get into strange rumor lying at the intersection of Leonardo DiCaprio's two great loves: old school sci-fi fantasy, and women in their early 20's. Next Ryan brings everything down with gun violence statistics, and Matt saves the day by bringing up the Israel-Palestine conflict... but like, in a fun way. No seriously, there's a murder, but also in a fun way. Trust us, it will be okay. Then they finish the show by giving sound, well-seasoned career advice to all the quitters out there.@wreckyourpod on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and gmail.Chat with us on the CastJunkie Discord server:  https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ