Don’t Wreck Yourself

Don’t Wreck Yourself is a weekly podcast about finding truth on the internet. On each episode, we assess a claim wrecking the internet, answer questions nobody asked us, and say bad words.

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Episodes

7 days ago

Cap and Ryan are letting the Devil take the wheel for all of October. NOTE: We're not literally consorting with any demonic forces. It's October 2024, and polls are saying it's a coin toss whether Ted Cruz gets to preside over my witch trial... so to be clear, it's just a Halloween goof. But that goof is going to transition us from the Oktoberfest Devil's Wheel into the first half of an Actual Play Table Top Roleplaying Game single shot session of Absurdia with its creator Quinn Modjeski and special guest player Jess Sparks.
 
Check out Monster Hour here: https://www.patreon.com/monsterhour
And Shrimp and Crits here: https://www.patreon.com/ShrimpandCrits

Cutting Edge Gaydar Technology

Thursday Sep 26, 2024

Thursday Sep 26, 2024

Ryan and Cap talk about the most recent episode of Drag Race Global All Stars, what they learned about the origin of drag houses. Then they move on to discuss the dated notion of Gaydar, whether it exists, and where it is taking us in the future. Then they dig into the statistics around stereotypes about gay promiscuity and attraction. If you're picking up big gay energy in this episode, your Gaydar isn't broken!
Join us on our Discord!https://discord.gg/4tjn6NHzen

The ReTruth About Cats and Dogs

Thursday Sep 19, 2024

Thursday Sep 19, 2024

Ryan and Cap talk about the scientific awards nobody puts on their CV before opining on the state of global drag. Then they blabber about politics and why Donald Trump is racist, and why Laura Loomer is a victim of her own schtick, and how you should definitely vote for Kamala Harris in November. Holy smokes. Don't panic. But if you do feel a sense of panic, that's okay. We're just primates, and evolution hasn't caught up to the demands of civilization. Cut yourself some slack. Be a little bit more Funky Kong, and a little bit less Cranky Kong.Tell us which classic Nintendo character you would be on our Discord!https://discord.gg/4tjn6NHzen

Nutty Putty Buddies

Thursday Sep 12, 2024

Thursday Sep 12, 2024

Ryan and Cap become Nutty Putty buddies while studying a strange death in a Utah cave, then they talk about other cave related topics covering everything from limestone cenotes to ready-made man-caves. They also discuss a "new" system of government being promoted by America's number one caveman, Elon Musk.
Join us for discussions on our show Discord Server at: https://discord.gg/Ytkf7aY7XJ
 

Midwest Dangerous

Thursday Sep 05, 2024

Thursday Sep 05, 2024

Ryan and Cap read through a bunch of Apple reviews, and discuss user feedback. Then Ryan introduces a new segment called Questionable Headlines leading to in-depth speculation about the corn sweat threatening the midwest. Then they discuss a map Ryan found detailing the search engine history of conspiracy enthusiasts around the country.

Thursday Aug 29, 2024

In this week's episode, Ryan quizzes Cap on previous episodes of the show. He does okay. Unfortunately due to platform limitations, we were unable to publish the quiz at the time of the episode launch. The link will be updated... soon? Finally, Cap delves into the truth behind a Reddit comment, presenting a tale of a house divided to bolster his co-host bona fides.
Don't forget to leave us glowing reviews and follow us on all your favorite social media platforms, even the awful ones run by awful people.
Happy 100th Episode! Holy Smokes! We made it!

Beans, Beans, the Marital Fruit

Thursday Aug 22, 2024

Thursday Aug 22, 2024

Ryan and Cap give you a leg-up on legumes, addressing a pair of Reddit inquiries at the intersection of humans and beans. Then they discuss the aftermath of beans by pondering flatulence in philosophy, politics, and the sciences. Along the way, Cap quizzes Ryan. We learn a lot about beans, a little about toots, and a lot about our own humanity.Find us on social media at @wreckyourpod
On Discord at The Podcast Nexus: https://discord.gg/g863M7ZSA8

Gold Medal Madness

Thursday Aug 15, 2024

Thursday Aug 15, 2024

Cap and Ryan offer a retrospective of strange Olympic history discussing the utter chaos of early Olympic events, from the long hard, traffic clogged, rat-poisoned slogs, to the whimsical dismantling of France's signature coifed canine at the hands of a farmer's wife. Finally, they address accusations that Imane Kalif of Algeria should have been barred from competition for crimes against the patriarchy.
Please rate and review where ever you listen.
Find us on social media @wreckyourpod

Sunday Mar 24, 2024

In this episode Ryan and Dr. Brad talk coinage trends, probability, and youth culture before segueing into accounts of an ancient Mesopotamian demon whose victims were always taken on the commode inflagrante delicto. Take this opportunity to learn a thing or two from Brad, who unlike virtually everyone else on this show, is an actual expert.Subscribe to Brad's channel, Artifactually Speaking at:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6q8GsRYTYW1zeke1erD-uAFind the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpodFind Ryan on Instagram but not on Twitter @foodicideChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the Podcast Nexus Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

The Kelce-Swift Protocol

Thursday Feb 29, 2024

Thursday Feb 29, 2024

Ryan and Ian tackle the conspiracy that Taylor Swift and the NFL are rigged in Joe Biden's favor. They also weigh in on some pop culture questions and explain the differences between First, Second, and Third World countries.
Eat up, slop's gettin' cold.Find the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpodFind Ryan on Instagram but not on Twitter @foodicideChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the Podcast Nexus Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ
Find Ian on Twitter @IanMauldinFind Ian's music here: https://damnedrivers.bandcamp.com/ and also here:Find Ian's show Shrimp and Crits on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok @shrimpandcritsFind them online at www.shrimpandcrits.com, or support them by visiting www.fondofmelobster.com
This episode was edited by Ian Mauldin

The Butt Plug Railgun

Tuesday Feb 20, 2024

Tuesday Feb 20, 2024

Ryan takes to the streets with Cap to patrol the internet in search of questions and topics in need of vigilante illumination. Ryan provides an update on the state of the show, before they dive into the hows and whens of doing the gritty at a funeral, taking breastmilk baths, before ruling on whether there is a connection between Impossible Meat and Planned Parenthood. TW: This episode does feature discussion of abortion and cannibalism, but that's the price of exploring the MAGA web I guess. Finally, Cap dives into whether a viral image on the internet faithfully recounts an occurrence of a butt plug railgun.
Find the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpod or @wreckyourpod.com on BlueSkyFind Ryan on Instagram @foodicide
Find Cap on Twitter @capandcritsFind Cap on BlueSky @thinkingcap.bsky.socialFind Cap's show at www.shrimpandcrits.com 

Saturday Nov 25, 2023

The lights are off. You knock anyway. Silence. You wait a month. The light comes on. The terror begins. Enjoy your tofurkey stuffed with candy corn, you freaks.This year's Halloween episode is grossly late, but worth the wait! Join Ryan, CJ, and Cap for all the tricks, all the treats, and all the human skin based fashion apparel you can buy on Etsy!
Find the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpod or @wreckyourpod.com on BlueSkyFind Ryan on Instagram @foodicide
Find Cap on Twitter @capandcritsFind Cap on BlueSky @thinkingcap.bsky.socialFind Cap's show at www.shrimpandcrits.com Find CJ on Instagram @backyardpitmastersc
Support the show by visiting www.fondlemelobster.comChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the Podcast Nexus Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Friday Oct 20, 2023

In this wild episode Matt and Ryan discuss deeply personal healthcare stories, tease a whale milk topic that you heard last week, and generally conduct themselves like over-caffeinated class clowns. But in the process they help an r/nostupidquestions asker embrace their inner Mandolorian. Then they weigh the pharmacological benefits of hotboxing crustaceans, before discussing how to make the humans of today the sentient crabs of tomorrow. Find the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpodFind Ryan on Instagram but not on Twitter @foodicide
Support the show by visiting www.fondlemelobster.comChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the Podcast Nexus Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

The Taylor Swift Lifestyle

Tuesday Oct 03, 2023

Tuesday Oct 03, 2023

Ryan invites Ian Mauldin to dust off his microphone to talk about all of the internet's hottest topics from several weeks ago! First they throw a wet blanket on Burning Man, before discussing the impact the Taylor Swift Lifestyle can have on a relationship. Then they discuss whether a human being like you and me suffering from lactose intolerance can safely pop a big old rubber whale nipple in our mouth and suckle. Is it cetacean good or is it cetacean bad like this joke?
Find the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpodFind Ryan on Instagram but not on Twitter @foodicide
Support the show by visiting www.fondlemelobster.comChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the Podcast Nexus Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ
Find Ian on Twitter @IanMauldinFind Ian's music here: https://damnedrivers.bandcamp.com/ and also here:Find Ian's show Shrimp and Crits on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok @shrimpandcritsFind them online at www.shrimpandcrits.com, or support them by visiting www.fondofmelobster.com
This episode was edited by Ian Mauldin
  

Tuesday Sep 26, 2023

Ryan and Cap shoot the breeze about Sci-Fi, seeking to know what Sci-Fi is and whether it can tell us anything about ourselves. They also make some fart noises and go on some pretty gnarly tangents.
Find the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpod or @wreckyourpod.com on BlueSkyFind Ryan on Instagram @foodicide
Find Cap on Twitter @capandcritsFind Cap on BlueSky @thinkingcap.bsky.socialFind Cap's show at www.shrimpandcrits.com 
Support the show by visiting www.fondlemelobster.comChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the Podcast Nexus Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Dispatches From the Cola Wars

Tuesday Jul 18, 2023

Tuesday Jul 18, 2023

Yes,  there's a heat wave, but there's nothing more refreshing than rubbing a cool new episode against your earballs. Ryan and Matt start off by taking on an r/AskReddit question about the soundtrack in Hell, before taking on a hellishly tumultuous family feud pitting two golden children against their jealous siblings in the Case of the Stolen In-laws which comes to us courteous of r/AmItheAsshole. Then they take a dip into a purported image of Presidential loser Donald Trump rescuing cats from dangerous flood waters found on Facebook. Then they wrap up the episode with a pair of insane topics that prove that capitalism can make even the softest drinks go hard with death squads and naval armadas.  

Wednesday Jun 21, 2023

Ryan and Cap revisit our Halloween Specials and provide behind the scenes commentary on a pair of our favorite episodes! Relive Cap's first show appearance, and let us haunt you with all the facts. Faaaaacts.Don't Spook Yourself Credits
In this special Halloween episode, Matt and Ryan are joined by Cap from the podcast Shrimp and Crits. They take on a variety of terrifying topics, including ghosts, vampires, werewolves, zombies, pregnancy, and the end user license agreement for one of Amazon's software solutions. Are you terrified yet? While discussing whether there are ghost seamen in vampire balls, they hold flashlights under their faces to increase the spook factor. How about now?
Find the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpodFind Ryan on Instagram and Twitter @foodicide
Find Cap on Twitter @capandcritsFind Cap's show at www.shrimpandcrits.com 
Support the show by visiting www.fondlemelobster.comChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the Podcast Nexus Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ
CREDITS FOR SHOW NOTES
"Thunder, Very Close, Rain, A.wav" by InspectorJ (www.jshaw.co.uk) of Freesound.org
"Thunder, Very Close, No Rain, C.wav" by InspectorJ (www.jshaw.co.uk) of Freesound.org
"Thunderstorm_003_Minus1db.mp3" by Algaeman of Freesound.org
"footsteps-squeeky-wood.aiff" by tmkappeltn of Freesound.org
"knakande-dorr" by ryding of Freesound.org
"creaking-door" by fuzzpapi of Freesound.org
"knakande-dorr" by ryding of Freesound.org
"door-pounding-increasing-intensity" by jhumbucker of Freesound.org"poof-of-smoke" by planman of Freesound.org
"doorknob-rattle-2" by castironcarousel of Freesound.org
"button-05" by jarredgibb of Freesound.org
"2-beating-of-wings" by miguelab1998 of Freesound.org
"duskwolf" by killyourpepe of 
Freesound.org
"Songs and Csardas" performed by Emery Deutch and his Gypsy Orchestra (Recorded 1949) retrieved October 2021 from https://archive.org/details/78_as-a-bud-blossoms-to-a-rose-asszony-lesz-a-lanybol_emery-deutsch-and-his-gypsy-or_gbia0020274
Don't Spook Yourself 2 Credits
Happy Halloween! For the second annual Don't Spook Yourself Halloween spectacular, Ryan is joined by the incredibly spooky Catie Stroud and absolutely kooky Cap from Shrimp and Crits. They talk candy hotdogs memes, before knocking on a stranger's door to provide a smart answer to an r/nostupidquestions inquiry exploring the connection between Dracula and the classic Halloween banger Toccata and Fugue in D Minor by Johannes Sebastian Bach. Then they try to figure out whether a native American curse is murdering Floridians with cotton candy colored farts. Then they delve into the darkest innermost reaches of the human soul when they answer a cry for help on r/AmItheAsshole dealing with a radio famous monstrous goat sucker. Then they discuss some junior grade suckers being scammed by a post from r/UnethicalLifeProTips. Then they hop onto a vintage meme showcasing the fight against monstrously large grasshoppers in the American west. Finally, our trio of Halloween experts stir the cauldron by helping a user from r/NoStupidQuestion dress themself for the biggest spooky day of the year.Also, we've hidden some weird treats throughout the episode.
The following music was used for this media project:
Music: Kinetic Energy by Tim Kulig
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/9180-kinetic-energy
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
Artist website: https://timkulig.com/albumsMuch of today's episode was made possible freesounds.org, a phenomenal resource for audio producers on budget. Their audio is all user uploaded under a creative commons license. I encourage you to tap into that resource and maybe leave a donation to ensure that their free sound database will be there for future Don't Wreck Yourself Halloween episodes...
https://freesound.org/people/InspectorJ/sounds/339325/#
https://freesound.org/people/Benboncan/sounds/63220/
https://freesound.org/people/Glaneur%20de%20sons/sounds/104952/
https://freesound.org/people/Bosk1/sounds/144083/
https://freesound.org/people/d78productions/sounds/367982/
https://freesound.org/people/revolt2563/sounds/352870/
https://freesound.org/people/0XMUSEX0/sounds/168650/
https://freesound.org/people/jorickhoofd/sounds/160047/
https://freesound.org/people/florianreichelt/sounds/459964/
https://freesound.org/people/Timbre/sounds/103539/
https://freesound.org/people/jaryhenry/sounds/567199/
https://freesound.org/people/DylanTheFish/sounds/419507/
https://freesound.org/people/kyles/sounds/452899/

Tuesday Jun 13, 2023

A Classic from the Archives, one of Ryan's personal favorites because Matt is totally on top of his game!__________________________On this week's episode, Matt and Ryan celebrate a minor production milestone: six months of podcasting. Then they help the desperate souls of Reddit by tackling their most challenging r/nostupidquestions question yet in which the asker would like to become less stupid. Then they plug into a Black Mirroresque story out of the UK that is too graphic and horrible to describe with any level of anatomical precision. They turn their attention to the font of very much not stupid questions again, but this time the question asker is inquiring about what happens when you put a grenade in a microwave, and we answer the question because we don't think anyone is smart enough to decode what we want. Finally, and possibly forever, they discuss meme reports about QR codes going up on Japanese gravestones.__________________________
Find the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpodFind Ryan on Instagram and Twitter @foodicide
Support the show by visiting www.fondlemelobster.comChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the Podcast Nexus Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Tug of Gore!

Tuesday Jun 06, 2023

Tuesday Jun 06, 2023

Ryan is joined by Ian, world renowned podcast editor and table top RPG personality to discuss the topics Wrecking the Internet. They start off with a topic from r/RandomThoughts about the films we see that haunt our very souls. Then they dig into a topic from r/ELI5 (Explain it Like I'm 5) asking some pretty hard, and frankly disturbing questions about Tug of War safety. Then they way into a pair of topics r/AmITheAsshole which have two Redditors asking the internet if they were jerks to disabled strangers... SPOILER: At least one of these two people is an asshole, tune in to find out!Find the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpodFind Ryan on Instagram and Twitter @foodicide
Support the show by visiting www.fondlemelobster.comChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the Podcast Nexus Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ
Find Ian on Twitter @IanMauldinFind Ian's music here: https://damnedrivers.bandcamp.com/ and also here:Find Ian's show Shrimp and Crits on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok @shrimpandcritsFind them online at www.shrimpandcrits.com, or support them by visiting www.fondofmelobster.com
This episode was edited by Ian Mauldin

Mr. Ed is My Work Husband

Tuesday May 30, 2023

Tuesday May 30, 2023

Ryan and Matt take on a lot of work topics in this episode! They start off discussing a fated golf game in which a junior partner at a financial firm publicly spanks rootin' tootin' Texas oil tycoon, costing his company a key customer, and his boss wants to know how to handle it. Then they discuss an incident in which an employee's dissatisfaction gets back to a boss, creating a delicate situation. Then they tackle Elon Musk's egalitarian take on Work from Home, which, like Matt's microphone in this episode, sucks ass. By the way, Matt's microphone in this episode was a backup model with poor sound quality. We apologize for that, but we won't apologize for rounding out the episode discussing whether a new worker on a horse farm is going to have to engage in some quid pro quo with his equine employers.
Find the show on all social media platforms @wreckyourpodFind Ryan on Instagram and Twitter @foodicideChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the Podcast Nexus Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ
This Episode was not edited by the incredible Ian Mauldin who can be found on Twitter @ianmauldin, but he edits other episodes, and we're too lazy to change the tag in the show notes.

2021 Don’t Wreck Yourself

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