Don’t Wreck Yourself

Don’t Spook Yourself 2!

Happy Halloween! For the second annual Don't Spook Yourself Halloween spectacular, Ryan is joined by the incredibly spooky Catie Stroud and absolutely kooky Cap from Shrimp and Crits. They talk candy hotdogs memes, before knocking on a stranger's door to provide a smart answer to an r/nostupidquestions inquiry exploring the connection between Dracula and the classic Halloween banger Toccata and Fugue in D Minor by Johannes Sebastian Bach. Then they try to figure out whether a native American curse is murdering Floridians with cotton candy colored farts. Then they delve into the darkest innermost reaches of the human soul when they answer a cry for help on r/AmItheAsshole dealing with a radio famous monstrous goat sucker. Then they discuss some junior grade suckers being scammed by a post from r/UnethicalLifeProTips. Then they hop onto a vintage meme showcasing the fight against monstrously large grasshoppers in the American west. Finally, our trio of Halloween experts stir the cauldron by helping a user from r/NoStupidQuestion dress themself for the biggest spooky day of the year.Also, we've hidden some weird treats throughout the episode.
The following music was used for this media project:
Music: Kinetic Energy by Tim Kulig
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/9180-kinetic-energy
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
Artist website: https://timkulig.com/albumsMuch of today's episode was made possible freesounds.org, a phenomenal resource for audio producers on budget. Their audio is all user uploaded under a creative commons license. I encourage you to tap into that resource and maybe leave a donation to ensure that their free sound database will be there for future Don't Wreck Yourself Halloween episodes...
https://freesound.org/people/InspectorJ/sounds/339325/#
https://freesound.org/people/Benboncan/sounds/63220/
https://freesound.org/people/Glaneur%20de%20sons/sounds/104952/
https://freesound.org/people/Bosk1/sounds/144083/
https://freesound.org/people/d78productions/sounds/367982/
https://freesound.org/people/revolt2563/sounds/352870/
https://freesound.org/people/0XMUSEX0/sounds/168650/
https://freesound.org/people/jorickhoofd/sounds/160047/
https://freesound.org/people/florianreichelt/sounds/459964/
https://freesound.org/people/Timbre/sounds/103539/
https://freesound.org/people/jaryhenry/sounds/567199/
https://freesound.org/people/DylanTheFish/sounds/419507/
https://freesound.org/people/kyles/sounds/452899/

Oops! All Sex Education!

CW: IT IS OUR 69TH EPISODE, SO YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE NICE. AND BY NICE WE MEAN SEXUALLY EXPLICIT. LIKE... SLIGHTLY MORE THAN USUAL.
 
Ryan is joined once again by Cap from Shrimp and Crits to celebrate our arrival at a very good number of episodes wit ha very special Oops! All Reddit! episode. This week, they answer a request from r/theydidthemath breaking down the condom budget run rate of a sexually confident Facebook user. Then they take on an age old landmine in every relationship with a query from r/TooAfraidToAsk , before discussing human-nonhuman hybridization in response to an r/NoStupidQuestions post. Turning back to r/TooAfraidToAsk, Ryan and Cap help to arbitrate an embarrassing dispute simmering between housemates. In a tantric display of informational endurance they stick around in r/TooAfraidToAsk to answer questions about blue balls and what constitutes standard dirty talk in the heat of the moment. Finally, they return to r/NoStupidQuestions to help some poor kid who left evidence of his post-pubescence directly in his mother's path to figure his way out of an awkward situation.
 
Find Don't Wreck Yourself on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and gmail @wreckyourpod
Find us online at www.wreckyourpod.com
Find Cap on Twitter @capandcrits, and his show Shrimp and Crits on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok @shrimpandcrits
Find them online at www.shrimpandcrits.com, or support them by visiting www.fondofmelobster.com
Chat with Don't Wreck Yourself, Shrimp and Crits, and dozens of other podcasters on the CastJunkie Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Tripping Bullocks

Ryan welcomes Will, AKA Dr. Crox, to the show for a riveting discussion about Japanese fart scrolls, before taking on a question about dancing testicles from r/TooAfraidToAsk. They segue from the surreal to the hallucinatory, when they deal with a meme found on r/TheyDidTheMath requesting info about how much LSD a town would need to get the party started. Then they get into some deep analysis of a bloodthirsty check splitter from r/AmITheAsshole, and round out the episode with a beauty claim from r/conspiracy that accuses Ms. Congeniality Sandra Bullock of harvesting baby penises to achieve her immortal complexion. 
Find Don't Wreck Yourself on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and gmail @wreckyourpod
Find us online at www.wreckyourpod.com
Find Will on Instagram @drcroxtx
Chat with Don't Wreck Yourself and dozens of other podcasters on the CastJunkie Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ
This episode contains audio from The Ellen Show, which has been edited for length and is presented for analytical context. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-kdXGfxY6o

Han Solo’s Frozen Carbonite Dong

CONTENT WARNING: This episode features descriptions of criminal acts, some of which are violent nature. These crimes include, but are not limited to the following...MATRICIDEHUMAN CLONINGORGAN HARVESTINGTRAPPING PEOPLE IN CARBONITESTAR WARS EPISODES 7-9TACO SPAGHETTISERIAL MURDERPETTY THEFTToday, Ryan is joined by Ian Mauldin from Shrimp and Crits. They discuss a strangely Star Wars branded erotic dessert, before weighing in on a r/AmITheAsshole post seeking judgment on a bride's wedding party politics. Then Ryan and Ian offer their best Tinder dating tips to a Redditor posting on r/NoStupidQuestions. Next they delve into the culinary world examining a pair of food memes. The first is simply a recipe for a disturbing one-pot fusion dish, and then they weigh into the scrumchability of a butter made from maggots. They shake off the post-maggot butter blues with a song and dance related query from r/antiwork before getting wildly sidetracked in the outro.
Find Don't Wreck Yourself on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and gmail @wreckyourpod
Find us online at www.wreckyourpod.com
Find Ian on Twitter @IanMauldinFind Ian's music here: https://damnedrivers.bandcamp.com/ and also here: Find Ian's show Shrimp and Crits on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok @shrimpandcrits
Find them online at www.shrimpandcrits.com, or support them by visiting www.fondofmelobster.com
Chat with Don't Wreck Yourself, Shrimp and Crits, and dozens of other podcasters on the CastJunkie Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Locked Down, Tuned Up, Taking Secret Data Dumps

This week Ryan is joiend by CJ Cypress to talk alcohol and barbecue. First they discuss a query from r/TooAfraidToAsk about whether 1pm is too early for her boyfriend to be drunk... then they cross the International Date Line to discuss an alleged Japanese government initiative to get people to drink more booze. Then Ryan breaks down the difference between Hillary's email server and Donald Trump's intentional violation of national security procedures for an r/ask Redditor. Then they talk about... have you ever seen The Shape of Water? It's like that, but instead of water it's . Finally, a classic DWY combo... drugs and bears!Find Don't Wreck Yourself on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and gmail @wreckyourpodFind us online at www.wreckyourpod.comFind CJ on Instagram @backyardpitmasterscChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, and dozens of other podcasters on the CastJunkie Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Mattmorial Laser Bike Parade

We are coming back from a hiatus with all sorts of changes! Tune in to find out! Cap of Shrimp and Crits Fame joins Ryan to revisit the Trolley Problem before switching modes of green transportation to discuss laser bikes! Then they weigh in on a r/nostupidquestions inquiry in which an internet user wonders whether their overweight work colleagues are going to cause his pool to overflow. Then, while you're still basking in pool party vibes, they pivot to ways you can love your hole self by simply getting a little more sun. They end the episode by discussing the horrific implications of bottomless breadsticks.Find Don't Wreck Yourself on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and gmail @wreckyourpodFind us online at www.wreckyourpod.comFind Cap on Twitter @capandcrits, and his show Shrimp and Crits on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok @shrimpandcritsFind them online at www.shrimpandcrits.com, or support them by visiting www.fondofmelobster.comChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, Shrimp and Crits, and dozens of other podcasters on the CastJunkie Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZThis week's episode also contained a clip, used for commentary and analytical purposes, from Tom Cardy's song HYCYBH. You can find Tom Cardy on Instagram and Twitter @tomycardy, and on TikTok at @TomCardy.

REMASTERED: Doggy Day Drinking

This episode originally aired on 06 April 2021, and it has only improved with age and hard lessons about audio production. The episode has been remastered for better audio quality. Don't Wreck Yourself will return with new episodes after Labor Day!The guys run down a series of rabbit holes in their search for the truth. Ryan tells about his harrowing near death experience at the wrong end of a banana. Matt sniffs around a dog adoption bar. Then they talk hot lava and prove they have the balls to make a splash.Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Introducing the Butt Kazoo

Matt and Ryan pop the cork on a finely matured r/nostupidquestions inquiry in which an asker needs to know the carnal dangers of combining toots and toys. Then they do their best not to get tripped up by another r/nostupidquestions topic seeking to know the etiquette of watching someone else take a spill. Next they try to figure out how the world would be a different place if men experienced menstrual cycles. Then they do their best to describe their eggplant emojis with a movie title. Finally, they discuss an image of a book met with controversy and anger on r/antinatalism.Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Cruising for a Bruising

Matt and Ryan kind of sort of answer a listener question about who was worse between two Byzantine Empresses. Then they address a report from the Daily Beast about a South African man who fell victim to a Jaeger induced illness. Then they go to an r/NoStupidQuestion about how a magician turned off a TV in the early 1990s without using the remote. Then they discuss a post from r/conspiracy calling into question the authenticity of images from the James Webb Space Telescope. Finally, they discuss an alleged act that caused a mass melee on the open seas.Find Don't Wreck Yourself on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and gmail @wreckyourpodFind us online at www.wreckyourpod.comThis Episode's Promo Comes from Monster HourFind them on Twitter @MonsterHourPodFind them online at https://monsterhour.podbean.com/Chat with Don't Wreck Yourself, Monster Hour and dozens of other podcasters on the CastJunkie Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ 

The Monkey Business Pitfalls of Being a Banana Karen

In this episode, Matt and Ryan bask in the afterglow of America's explosive birthday party before taking on a topic from r/AITA centering on the whens and hows a man can eat a banana at work without getting fired. Then they discuss Wal-Mart's recent decision to drop a coconut milk line over its unexpected source of forced labor. Next they weigh in on Google's recent dismissal of an employee over his belief that Google's machine learning software has gotten to be a little TOO human. Finally, Ryan provides an update on the hermit-for-hire job market.Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ Additional audio in this episode was sourced from The Internet Archive (http://www.archive.org) Lullaby of the LeavesPublication date: 1940Performer: Art TatumWriter: Young; PetkereMatrix number: DLA1940ACatalog number: 04318The Penny-Whistle SongPublication date: 1951Performer: LEROY ANDERSON And His "Pops" Concert OrchestraWriter: Leroy AndersonMatrix number: W81233T12ACatalog number: 28037

Loud, Obnoxious, and Extremely Horny for Facts

On this week's episode, Ryan tracks Matt down and forgets to make a Dr. Livingstone reference. The hosts record live and in person for the first time, sacrificing audio quality like a fatted calf on the altar of basic human companionship. They tell you what they did in Philly, take on the folks next door having loud, obnoxious hotel . Then they dig into why humans need to cook their food while our fellow animals get to tear into the raw stuff. Finally, they parse out what to call a straight guy who prefers the friendship of men.Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Middle America Bee Fishy Sometimes

Shakin' Shaner from What's Shakin' With Shaner keeps Matt's seat warm as he and Ryan get under the hood of Pixar's Cars franchise to figure out what's going on with Lightning McQueen's Finn McMissile. Then they discuss a photoset making the rounds on social media that depicts a surprisingly conventional Fourth of July party in an unconventional place. Then they discuss the mysterious appearance of a Viking runestone in Minnesota, home of the late great artist formerly known as Prince. Finally they finish with a California court ruling that makes a surprising taxological decision. Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZFind Shane and Psycho Bob the Cat @shakinshaner and @psychobobca1 on Twitter and online at www.shakinshaner.com

Busted! True Crime in Ancient Times

On today's episode, Ryan's old boss Dr. Brad Hafford fills in for Matt to talk about a couple popular myths associated with the ancient city of Ur. This episode is 100% archaeology. Ryan and Brad talk about a busty Roman hanging out at a thrift shop in Texas, and seek to answer the all important question "what IS a museum" without smoking any OG kush at all. Then they discuss a pair of ancient Mesopotamian businessman (one of whom you may already know). Finally they take on a claim from r/conspiracy that asserts that mysterious artifacts may be the key to powering ancient flood lights.Find us on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter at @wreckyourpodAnd chat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZSubscribe to Artifactually Speaking at:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6q8GsRYTYW1zeke1erD-uA

The Revivifying Power of the Electric Nut Massage

NEW EPISODES NOW DROP ON FRIDAYRyan works with co-host pro tempura Cap from Shrimp and Crits to get to the bottom of an r/NoStupidQuestions inquiry trying to get answers about an aviation mystery from the internet. Then they discuss the political fallout of definitely killing, but only allegedly murdering one's spouse while running for office. They follow up murder, both cold-blooded and alleged, by helping an r/nostupidquestions asker confront the stigma against kissing kittens... apparently it's a thing. Finally, Ryan and Cap walk through one of the strangest co-branding campaign ever, when they discuss how Doritos teamed up with a pair of cartoon wrestlers to laugh about genital torture and other forms of workplace harassment. Find Don't Wreck Yourself on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and gmail @wreckyourpodFind us online at www.wreckyourpod.comFind Cap on Twitter @capandcrits, and his show Shrimp and Crits on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok @shrimpandcritsFind them online at www.shrimpandcrits.com, or support them by visiting www.fondofmelobster.comThis Episode's Promo Comes from The Story Teller Squad.Find them on Twitter @StorySquadCastFind them online at www.thestorytellersquad.comChat with Don't Wreck Yourself, Shrimp and Crits, The Storyteller Squad and dozens of other podcasters on the CastJunkie Discord server...https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ 

Highly Irwreckular

Matt and Ryan are joined by Stu Horgan the creative force, host, and sole heir to the Highly Irregular podcast fortune which shall be, according to the mysterious last will and testament slipped to him rolled up in a copy of a particularly scandalous edition of The Sun while he was taking in a bit of fresh air at local park... paid in laughs. First they discuss a question from r/TooAfraidToAsk about the implications of the ubiquitous internet Rule 34, which governs pornographic content online. Then Stu shares a clip from his program mocking his nations leader, and then he presents a totally unrelated piece of British tabloid news to the delight of detective novel fans everywhere. Then Matt wraps up the episode in tentacles with an important question about octopus fashion.Find us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the Cast Junkie Discord Server:  https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZStu Horgan is the host of Highly Irregular, a Sketch Comedy PodcastFind him on Twitter @podlyirregularhttps://highly-irregular.captivate.fm/listen

Yo Momma Jokes

Happy Mothers Day to all child rearing humans and wolves!CONTENT WARNING: This episode deals with pregnancy and pregnancy complications.This week, Matt and Ryan discuss mom related topics! First they talk about whether moms deserve special social privileges over other people. Then they discuss whether it's possible to for a person to become pregnant alone and through the combined power of YouTube videos, positive thinking, and sonic vibrations. Finally, they wrap up with a somewhat familiar looking meme purporting to be a sign created by a child whose parents covered up a negligent homicide. Finally, call your mom. Just call your mom. If, by tragedy or triumph, you don't have a mother, call a mother, or a maternal figure, or the person who does the most for you in your life and thank them. Find us on social media @wreckyourpod on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook.Chat with us on the CastJunkie Discord server: https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZThis week's promo: What's Shakin With Shaner@shakinshaner on Twitterhttps://www.shakinshaner.com/

Millennials and Their Participation War Trophies

In this week's episode Matt and Ryan discuss the military's Uniform Code of Long Distance Relationships when they advise someone dating a soldier who clearly keeping dependents in different residences if you know what we mean. They they discuss a raid in Russia in which authorities claimed to have foiled a Neo- wet-work cell that just could not get enough of Sid Meier's SIMS. Then they discuss an opportunity to purchase a piece of the Ukrainian resistance.Find us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and gmail @wreckyourpodVisit us on the web at www.wreckyourpod.comThis week's promo: Ignorance Was Bliss@IWBpodcast on Twitterhttps://iwbpodcast.com/

Slinging Rum at the Elephant Bazaar

In this week's episode, Matt and Ryan discuss whether employers care if you got to the top of the rope in gym class. If you did, then Charlie Kirk suggests you may have been radicalized by the secret message Karl Marx scrawled up there 170 years ago, causing you to foolishly critique the corrupt capitalist system from your fancy high rise penthouse. Finally, they discuss whether a beloved sixty-five foot tall elephant played a part in an Atlantic City smuggling ring.Find us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and gmail @wreckyourpodVisit us on the web at www.wreckyourpod.comThis week's promo: Shrimp and Crits@shrimpandcrits on Twitter and Instagramwww.shrimpandcrits.com

This Ottoman Slaps!

In a return from a one week hiatus, Matt and Ryan offer yet another meaningless take on the slap heard round the world... but wait, there's more slap related content! Ryan tells Matt about a secret Ottoman martial technique in which open hand slaps are honed by striking marble, making it the second time in the episode they talk about some guy slapping theout of a Rock. Then they discuss a mysterious meme that seems to show a well preserved tyrannosaurus fossil in the woods of rural Tennessee. Then they discuss the peak moment when vulcanological comedy erupted onto the scene in a global explosion of core-bursting laughter.Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Gmail @wreckyourpodChat with us on the CastJunkie Discord Server:  https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ

Potato Fudge Around and Find Out

On this week's episode, Matt and Ryan discuss how Russians will be forced to get things their way after McDonald's pulls up stakes... will they be "lovin' it"? Then they transition into two listener food related questions dealing with mayo applications and an ad circulating online purporting to be a genuine advertisement for Kraft's Potato Fudge. Then they discuss an r/AmItheAsshole post from a woman who lashes out after being excluded from her husband's family gatherings. Then they take on an r/unpopular opinion dealing with how we calculate age, and then they double dip into r/AmITheAsshole when they render judgment in a situation where an April Fools joke costs somebody their job.On Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,  TikTok and Gmail @wreckyourpodAnd chat with us on the Cast Junkie Discord Server https://discord.gg/z5GMvpmyTZ